I know a simple way that can help you feel good about you debt. No matter how big your debt, no matter how long it is going to take you to clear it, you can feel good about it…

Simply, live with an attitude of gratitude.

Make a conscious effort every day to find something to be grateful for, about your debt. Does that sound challenging? For some of you it might be, given the pain and anxiety that can come from being in debt.

Take a pen and paper, sit quietly for 10 minutes and think about the things you could be grateful for around your debt.

I remember the first time I came across this idea. I thought, “that’s silly, how is it going to make me feel good about my debt?” I decided to give it a go -after all I had nothing to lose. Here are some of the things i was able to feel grateful for.

• My outrageously high telephone bill – because it meant I had been talking to people I loved.
• My electricity bill – because of the warmth and shared cups of tea I’d had.
• My friend who listened without judging when I told her I was in debt.
• The clothes on my back.
• The home I live in

My list wasn’t long. But the idea of being grateful about that big ugly debt I had, helped me get things into perspective. Sure, I had created the debt. For the most part, I’d had a lot of fun doing it. There was no merit in beating myself up about how I’d got there. Instead, I focused on what I had got right – I had faced up to my responsibilities and was taking action to clear it.

I realised gratitude was good for me. I felt joy again, my negative self talk improved dramatically. I found I didn’t worry as much. I stopped feeling bitter and resentful about things. I also noticed I attracted different kinds of people into my circle; people who were more positive and upbeat about life.

Living in gratitude is a choice; it takes practice but it become easier over time. I have so many things to be grateful for and I begin each day with thanks.

Go on, give thanks for you debt and watch things around you change.

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My story happened about 9 years ago. Life was sweet, then. I was a part of a social/business community based on personal development. I had started public speaking a couple of years before and found I had a talent for it. I took every opportunity to speak and, before long, the opportunities were lining up…

I had just finished a tour of the UK, speaking in most of the major cities. There was a big event lined up and I was billed as the top UK speaker, right before the international keynote speaker. My speech was a triumph, I got a standing ovation. This was the highest point of my life up till then. I had two partners lined up to begin a big project within the community and couldn’t wait to get started. Everything was finally going my way. I was in debt, had no cash but I could see that was all about to end. At last, I believed I could fly!

Around this time there had been a few new people join the community. Some of us were less than happy about the new element. It seemed they were all about money and less about growth, more profit and less service. Before we knew it, the Department of Trade and Industry had begun to take an interest in what we were up to. It all happened very fast. Suddenly there was a court case going on and the DTI was trying to shut us down. 70 of us headed of to the high court to watch the proceedings. They had to move the case to a bigger courtroom to accomodate us. Both sides laid out their case. The prosecution talked about the unscrupulous nature of the new element and one person in particular. Then the defence talked about the virtues of the more established members of the community and one person in particular – me! I had no idea this was going to happen. All the details of my business, personality and values were laid out in court for anyone to hear. It wasn’t that anything nasty was said, on the contrary, it was just mortifying.

After 3 days the case ended. The DTI had more money than us and based on the bad boys, a fairly strong case. They won and we were shut down immediately. My business, income, future plans, opportunity to speak and my social life all went in one short pronouncement. I went home devastated.

I crawled into a corner and, for six weeks, I pretty much stayed there. I wasn’t whimpering and singing a poor me song, I was thinking. OK, I did whimper and sing a poor me song for a couple of days, then I started thinking. I realised I could still speak, I still had the ability. I could still inspire people. I could still teach personal development and leadership, I just didn’t have the environment. The court case had embarrassed me but enhanced my reputation and, although I had lost my social life, I still had real friends. I realised they could take away my job, but never my work. I had lots left in me.

I spoke to the people I had agreed to partner up with for the big project. We couldn’t do what we had originally planned, but we could do something similar but bigger. One decided to come with me, the other moved on.

So, we started The Wow Factor. We had decided on the triangle and circle logo and it was with the designer. I was in the bath and had a sudden thought. I jumped out and rang the designer asking him to put fire on the top of the logo. It just had to be there. But, apart from some pretty design, we didn’t have a clue how to move forward.

Six weeks later we got a call from London Fire Brigade (as it was then, Fire and Rescue Services is what they are called now) asking if we could do leadership courses with a strong emotional intelligence leaning. YES, we most certainly could. Not much later I bought my partner out so that she could go and do her thing. Nine years later, Zandria and I are still teaching leadership in The British Fire Service amongst other things, and still loving it.

The company we have built was the lemonade squeezed from a nasty court case. Around the time it happened I found a card and carried it with me for a long time. It has a quote from Albert Camus on it,

In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me, an invincible summer.

Pass it on

The Rules

Life gave me lemons, so I made lemonade – MEME
Rules:
* Copy and paste these rules to your blog post.
* Link back to person who tagged you.
* Write about an incident in your life you first thought was really bad, but ended up being a blessing.
* Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
* Let each person you tagged know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
(* And if you want to – link back to this original Lemonade Meme post too.)

I’m tagging;

G Blogmaster from CanIGetRichOnASalary?

Bill from Money-Hacks

Nina from Queer Cents

Shawna at Bumblefucked

This post appears in the carnival of money stories at Money Ning

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Many of us are feeling the effects of the credit crunch, described by journalist Brian Reade as a euphemism for “rampant avarice gone wrong”. When times are difficult, we tighten our belts and cut back on things; giving shouldn’t be one of those things. Giving is an expression of our gratitude for the things we appreciate in our lives. So when times are hard, perhaps that’s the best time to wise up about to whom, what, where, when and how we give.

Whilst I was reading the rich list, the headline ”Sharing their good fortune” caught my attention, it went on to say philanthropy is growing rapidly as the wealthy look to make a lasting impact. However, they aren’t just giving casual handouts they are bringing the same level of control to their giving that they do their wealth creation.

Large numbers of people give to help others, and they do it primarily through charities. We also give in other ways and I got to wondering… Can giving cause dependency? I know people have strong views about the welfare state and the dependency culture, but what about those seemingly random moments of giving? Do any of these seem familiar?

• Giving money to keep a crying child quiet
• Giving children pocket money, then paying for things that would be considered pocket money items
• Encouraging your child to save for their Nintendo DS, then buying it for them
• Paying for petrol, the car insurance for your teenager’s car
• Continuous lending of small amounts of money to your friend or partner which you never get back
• You go out with friends and often find yourself making up the shortfall when the bill arrives

If any of these scenarios seem familiar, stop for a moment and think about why you do what you do. What are you teaching your children; the importance of good boundaries, the benefits of budgeting, the value of saving? Or are you perhaps teaching them that their parents will always bale them out? So there is no need to budget, to save, to take responsibility.

With regard to friends and partners, what is your giving doing? Is it encouraging them to spend beyond their means, to lean on you, to avoid solving their problems? How are you teaching them to treat you?

For one week, make a note of the times you found yourself in any of the scenarios described above. Write down what you did, why you did it and how you felt. The following week, given that you will be more aware of your behaviour, make a decision to do something different. Again, make a note of what you did and why and describe how you felt. I did this and I was shocked at what I found. I felt that I was responsible for the security of others, so much of my giving was based on trying to make people feel safe.

What did you discover about yourself, your behaviour around giving? what does your giving say about you?

When we give, we often want to help; to make things better for the people we love, the friends we care for. But we also need to be mindful not to take people away from the lessons that they need to learn. These lessons help them to grow, to establish values or to simply stand on their own two feet.

This post appears in The Money Hacks carnival at Mrs Nespy’s blog

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San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said “OK” and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

…And the moral of this story is – if you always use the right forms, conform to other people’s protocols and do what you’re told, you’ll take a lifetime to get out of debt!

This story appears in The Carnival of Money Stories at PiggyBankBlues

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Different families and groups of people have very different ways of doing things and place value on different things. Of course, I knew this before we started. What I didn’t realise, coming from a family that places a high premium on ideas and innovations, was the emotions this exercise would bring up…

I wrote about Shannon, who’s 11 years old the other day. She worked out a way to get the £5 she wanted to carry around with her. Part of the package, was that I got to use this fantastic picture from the front of her specially assigned notebook. This is all very important to Shannon, she’s looking forward to becoming a person who can make money wherever she is, as her family is moving to another country quite soon. She took the preparation very seriously and got her book ready. She found ideas didn’t come as readily as they might and seemed to centre around sweets!

Tyler is 12 and already quite money savvy. He has already made some money by watching the sweets his friends at school particularly love and having them readily on hand – at a premium. His method is to buy in bulk and retail at twice the price, although he will negotiate on this. He is a saver, so isn’t used to carrying money around with him. He said it burned a hole in his pocket and he felt sad that he couldn’t spend it on a magazine he wanted. He is working on finding more ideas.

Zandria is my business partner, and auntie to both Shannon and Tyler. She is the one who usually deals with the clients, including the fee conversations, which she handles very well indeed. She is a wonderful example of love in everything she does and touches. People everywhere warm to her immediately. I asked her about her results and she said she hadn’t had any ideas. What she had noticed was how many times she had wanted to give the money away to someone who she felt needed it and how difficult it was for her to stay focussed on making money.

I have done this exercise before. When I was really broke, I was given £1 specifically to buy a lottery ticket with. I won £10 and decided to invest it and make it grow. What I looked at to start with was Adding Value. How could I buy something and add value to it?

I love books. I read voraciously. I particularly love to read about personal growth and transformation, metaphysics and consciousness and peoples’ inner journeys, fact and fiction. Because I also teach these things, I am often asked for book recommendations. I buy books from a shop that has a bargain basement. So, I thought I could buy some books that I already recommended and sell them directly to people, still for a reduced price and with an added, enthusiastic review. I made my £10 into £50 inside the first month. We then turned that into a little sideline at our seminars and I rolled my money into the next project.

So this weeks’ exercise is based around adding value. Again, the purpose isn’t to use the money this week (we’ll do that next week, promise). This week, just look at the things around you as raw ingredients. How can you add value to them so that other people would pay more for your ingredients than you did? Keep notes or keep talking about it. Record your ideas and next week we’ll start using them.

My sisters-in-law are great with their hands. They make bits and bobs of paper and ribbon into wonderful personalised cards. After we all admired them and looked forward to receiving them so much, they have started to sell them as one-off speciality cards. Shannon is a great cook, so she could take some raw ingredients and make some good, healthy cookies to sell. My friend Chris knows all about computers. He can take old bits that people want to throw out and make computers out of them for people who can’t afford new ones. Another friend takes furniture that people throw out and paints it before selling it on to shops.

What do you love to do? What are the talents and skills you have that make you special? How can something become more valuable by passing through your hands?

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