Shopping, whether we love it or hate it, has become a major part of our lives. The reasons for going shopping vary from simply satisfying basic needs to fulfilling our wildest dreams. We can’t go anywhere without images of things and stuff we ‘must have’ entering our space. However, shopping is serious business and behind the glitz and glamour is something that can be hazardous to both your health and wealth.

I came across an article about shopping addiction, and it describes in some detail the associated behaviours. The article was short, interesting and a real eye opener. It made my think about my own shopping behaviour.

I went from being a level headed responsible shopper who spent within my means to someone who could shop for England. For me shopping was a joy, I loved it. I loved being able to come home with bags of new things, I loved bargains, and I loved the joy of buying things for others. As my love of shopping grew, I didn’t consider whether or not I could pay for my treasure – I just shopped. I loved how it made me feel good and I had little regard for the debt I was building.

Then, one day, I heard myself justifying my out of control spending and I knew I was in trouble. I sat down and looked at the extent of the debt I had created and made a decision to do something about it – and I did.

However, I recognised that If I didn’t understand why I had got into debt in the first place there was a strong chance I would create the same situation in the future.

I took a look at myself and saw what others saw; a strong, confident, self assured, honest and reliable woman. I was someone who knew my stuff, I was successful and popular. On the other hand some people thought I was controlling, always right and way too generous. For some people, I was an object of envy. What they didn’t know and I would not let them see were the insecurities that drove me.

Shopping for me was a way to mask what I was feeling inside. I thought back to school days and the kind of person I was, and then the woman I became. I realised that I used shopping as a way to be popular, to earn respect, to be lovable. It wasn’t easy to acknowledge that;

• No amount of shopping was going to make anyone love me more.
• Lending money I didn’t have wouldn’t earn the respect of others, and,
• No matter what I gave away, if people didn’t like me they never would.

I know now that I am lovable and people love and respect me for who I am, not for what I give them. So now I shop and enjoy it, I find it easy to lose myself in the window shopping I enjoyed as a child. I spend only what I have and think carefully about the purchases I make. I no longer use shopping as a means to validate my self worth.

Shopping can be a public display of what you feel about yourself and a sure fire way to get into debt if you are not careful. What does your shopping say about you?

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