Three more shopping weekends and then it’s done  Christmas that’s what. And just before we embark on the madness that is getting ready for Christmas, the ghost of Christmas past decided to have a little word with me.

Christmas, I love it as I lay curled up on the sofa, a lovely throw over my feet, scented candles giving off their wonderful aroma, and a glass of red wine at the table by my side. My mind drifted off to the many Christmases I had celebrated before.

Christmas is only 12 months away and I haven’t done a thing!” “Thank goodness for the January sales!” And so it began, the year-long shopping fest: “This item would be perfect for that person; so-and-so would look cute in this; etc. etc.” I never gave any thought to how I’d pay for it - my faithful plastic friend was always there for me, tucked safely in my bag ready for action at a moment’s notice.

This pattern would continue and then, come November, the frenzy really began in earnest. Here I am a single woman shopping like I had 50 kids and 200 mouths to feed!

By the time Christmas arrived, there was enough food and drink to feed the neighbourhood for a fortnight and enough gifts under the tree for all the kids in several hospitals, but I felt good. I’d convinced myself that it was for others and they’d be happy. But in the quiet moments it would be me worrying about how I’d pay for the luxury of my little plastic friend.

I woke up with a start and wondered why the need to get myself in debt didn’t seem to matter. I realised that giving was a way of fulfilling the longing of a little girl who so desperately wanted to be popular - to be liked, to be loved. Yet here I was as an adult, still playing out that desire, when my life was an example of those needs having been met.

Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love Christmas. It’s my 2nd favourite time of year (my birthday ranks no.1). I love all the fuss and festivities, and the planning and the gift buying and the joy of giving. I love the cooking, the baking, the chance to spend time with friends and family who we may not have had time for during the year. I love the traditions, the drinking, the games, the laughter - I absolutely love it all.

However, most of all I love the giving. But wrapped up in what has come to symbolise Christmas to many of us is the madness, the chaos, the desire to be the perfect the hostess, the best present giver, the most generous parent, lover, friend, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, grandparent, regardless of what it may cost financially or emotionally.

I love being generous, but giving is not just about things. There is so much more you can give that won’t distress you, or put you in awful debt. It just means you need to get creative.

Eventually I learnt the hard way and had to take drastic action to clear my debts. I no longer wake up a few days after Christmas filled with dread, when the reality of all that spending goes through you like a dose of salts.

So go on, enjoy Christmas make it the best one you’ve ever had. But remember as children, and when we grow up as adults, the memories that stay with us aren’t those of the gifts we received, but the experiences we shared with our loved ones.