Theo Paphitis, star of Dragon’s Den, claims that he would rather stick razor-sharp pins through his eyes than shop at Lidl. Lid,l for those of you who don’t know, is a discount supermarket chain of German origin with 7000 stores in 17 countries. When I read that article recently, in the Times, it made me laugh out loud. Not so long ago, I would have said something similar. For years, I have been a shop and label brand snob when it came to shopping for food.

I was convinced that only the larger supermarket chains, and the well-known brands could meet my refined needs and delight my culinary tastes. However, the need to watch my spending and the consequent discovery of low priced supermarkets, opened my eyes to a completely new world of shopping.

Look at the following scenarios and discover if you are a food snob;

• When you shop for groceries, you only ever buy well-known brands.
• There are buy one get one free offers, but you slavishly stick to what you know.
• Friends have told you a cheap lesser-known brand of food is really, but you can’t bring yourself to buy it.
• Food items have foreign labels so you refuse to try them.
• You are convinced that high price equals high quality.
• In a taste test, one of your favourite products does poorly but you’d still rather buy your known brand.
• You’ll travel to several shops to buy the brand you love.
• You’d rather go without, than risk trying an unknown brand.

If any of these sound familiar, it’s possible that you are a bit of a snob when it comes to food shopping.

When I decided that I wanted to become debt free, I had to look at every area of my life where I spend money. I discovered that my regular trips to the large well-known supermarkets, guaranteed that I would end up with a huge sum added to my credit card debt.

The first time I ventured into a low priced store, I found myself quite reluctant to buy anything. I just browsed, convinced there was nothing I wanted. Gradually I let down my guard and started to take a good look at what was being sold. Yes, they had name brand products – sometimes they were cheaper, sometimes they weren’t. I also discovered many new and different things, at prices that were significantly less than I would usually pay.

I strongly suggest swallowing that pride and venturing into the cheap shops. What harm can it do? Your grocery bills can be reduced by as much as 50%.

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I have now got that big loss out of the way, the one entrepreneurs talk about – The Big Learn. I lost a lot of money in a misadventure. It wasn’t even fun. It was enough money to pay off my mortgage and have lots left over! I’ve got over the shock of it, but it did damage my confidence in myself as a business woman, somewhat.

Over the last while, I’ve seen our business reflect that loss of confidence. It’s meant earning less and therefore, paying ourselves less. Belts were tightened and spending reduced. Now, I find myself back in debt. Not huge, but debt none the less. Of course, I have more stuff than last time I was in debt and my net worth has gone up a lot, but that didn’t make the feelings go away.

I started to feel less of a person, less substantial. I had a balance on my credit card I couldn’t clear. I went to pay some off it in the bank and they said they had an interest free deal going on. I didn’t want to waste my time or get turned down. I told them I was unlikely to get a card from them at the moment. I live in a small town and I know the people in the bank. They persuaded me to give it a try, so I did.

I am running an overdraft at the moment and they could see my account hadn’t had it’s usual, healthy flow, for a while. I do have a second account that I run my rental property through, but about the same goes in as out each month. So I braced myself for the no. I was shocked with the results. First, the clerk told me I had a good account with them. Then she offered me a card with £13,125 limit on it! That’s about $26,000. She also told me I could have a loan if I wanted it, immediately. Another £7,000. I politely declined, that but got the card. I never swap short term debt for long term, unless I really have to. When I start to earn again, it will be paid off quickly.

The net result of my visit to the bank was a saving of about £75 per month in interest fees. That was excellent in itself, but the real benefit was in how I felt. I walked out of the bank feeling like I was worth something again. I know that sounds like nonsense, because it was all loans and I will only use just what I need, nothing more.

Even thought there’s a credit crunch on, I am worthy of loans and considered financially sound. I had to negotiate a deal later that day – the extra I made on it, because of how I felt, will pay off the card before the interest free period expires!

If you’re in the situation I was the first time I was in debt, it’s a grind. You will either get through it with long term discipline or learn to make more money and get it gone faster. The second time around is so much easier. It’s been done before. People thought the 4 minute mile was impossible until Roger Bannister did it. After him, there was a flood of people doing it. It’s the same with debt – I promise. If you know your credit rating is ok, apply for a loan every now and then. Don’t take it, but it sure feels good!

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I know a simple way that can help you feel good about you debt. No matter how big your debt, no matter how long it is going to take you to clear it, you can feel good about it…

Simply, live with an attitude of gratitude.

Make a conscious effort every day to find something to be grateful for, about your debt. Does that sound challenging? For some of you it might be, given the pain and anxiety that can come from being in debt.

Take a pen and paper, sit quietly for 10 minutes and think about the things you could be grateful for around your debt.

I remember the first time I came across this idea. I thought, “that’s silly, how is it going to make me feel good about my debt?” I decided to give it a go -after all I had nothing to lose. Here are some of the things i was able to feel grateful for.

• My outrageously high telephone bill – because it meant I had been talking to people I loved.
• My electricity bill – because of the warmth and shared cups of tea I’d had.
• My friend who listened without judging when I told her I was in debt.
• The clothes on my back.
• The home I live in

My list wasn’t long. But the idea of being grateful about that big ugly debt I had, helped me get things into perspective. Sure, I had created the debt. For the most part, I’d had a lot of fun doing it. There was no merit in beating myself up about how I’d got there. Instead, I focused on what I had got right – I had faced up to my responsibilities and was taking action to clear it.

I realised gratitude was good for me. I felt joy again, my negative self talk improved dramatically. I found I didn’t worry as much. I stopped feeling bitter and resentful about things. I also noticed I attracted different kinds of people into my circle; people who were more positive and upbeat about life.

Living in gratitude is a choice; it takes practice but it become easier over time. I have so many things to be grateful for and I begin each day with thanks.

Go on, give thanks for you debt and watch things around you change.

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I was out with a friend the other day. We were talking about all kinds of interesting topics and we got onto the subject of being a parent. My friend shared his views about his role as a father and the things he had done to provide for his children’s future.

When he finished speaking, I asked him if he had written a will. He looked ashamed ,” no, I haven’t”. In my experience, writing a will is a taboo subject for many people.

Over the years, I’ve asked a number of people about their wills. My interest stems from being a responsible godparent and I’ve seen the devastation when people die without a will. People give all kinds of reasons for not writing their will what’s yours.

• Not knowing what to leave to whom
• Unable to identify their assets
• Not knowing a good solicitor (lawyer)
• Costs too much
• Reluctant to face their own mortality

These reasons are valid for the people who have them. If you are taking responsibility for your financial well-being, take care of it in life and in death.

Writing a will is important. It’s something that you need to take care of – sooner rather than later. It’s not an easy thing to do and you may need some professional help.

Before you get to the stage where you feel ready to draft your will, there is work you will need to do. This list is not exhaustive, but it gives you a starting point.

1. Find out what you can about getting your will drawn up. There are loads of helpful sites, providing useful information. The legal position will vary from country to country
2. An executor is the person appointed to ensure your wishes are carried out; who would you trust to do this for you?
3. How will you provide for your children and who would you choose to bring them up in your place?
4. What kind of funeral would you like?
5. Would you like to donate your organs?
6. Do you need to make provision to reduce death duties (Inheritance Tax)
7. What would you like to happen to your pets?
8. Would you like to leave a donation to your favourite charity?
9. To whom do you want to leave your property? Think about whether an item has a real value like a house, or sentimental value like a piece of jewellery

Make your will a priority if you don’t have one. Losing someone you love is bad enough, don’t make it worse. Get a will.

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Many of us are feeling the effects of the credit crunch, described by journalist Brian Reade as a euphemism for “rampant avarice gone wrong”. When times are difficult, we tighten our belts and cut back on things; giving shouldn’t be one of those things. Giving is an expression of our gratitude for the things we appreciate in our lives. So when times are hard, perhaps that’s the best time to wise up about to whom, what, where, when and how we give.

Whilst I was reading the rich list, the headline ”Sharing their good fortune” caught my attention, it went on to say philanthropy is growing rapidly as the wealthy look to make a lasting impact. However, they aren’t just giving casual handouts they are bringing the same level of control to their giving that they do their wealth creation.

Large numbers of people give to help others, and they do it primarily through charities. We also give in other ways and I got to wondering… Can giving cause dependency? I know people have strong views about the welfare state and the dependency culture, but what about those seemingly random moments of giving? Do any of these seem familiar?

• Giving money to keep a crying child quiet
• Giving children pocket money, then paying for things that would be considered pocket money items
• Encouraging your child to save for their Nintendo DS, then buying it for them
• Paying for petrol, the car insurance for your teenager’s car
• Continuous lending of small amounts of money to your friend or partner which you never get back
• You go out with friends and often find yourself making up the shortfall when the bill arrives

If any of these scenarios seem familiar, stop for a moment and think about why you do what you do. What are you teaching your children; the importance of good boundaries, the benefits of budgeting, the value of saving? Or are you perhaps teaching them that their parents will always bale them out? So there is no need to budget, to save, to take responsibility.

With regard to friends and partners, what is your giving doing? Is it encouraging them to spend beyond their means, to lean on you, to avoid solving their problems? How are you teaching them to treat you?

For one week, make a note of the times you found yourself in any of the scenarios described above. Write down what you did, why you did it and how you felt. The following week, given that you will be more aware of your behaviour, make a decision to do something different. Again, make a note of what you did and why and describe how you felt. I did this and I was shocked at what I found. I felt that I was responsible for the security of others, so much of my giving was based on trying to make people feel safe.

What did you discover about yourself, your behaviour around giving? what does your giving say about you?

When we give, we often want to help; to make things better for the people we love, the friends we care for. But we also need to be mindful not to take people away from the lessons that they need to learn. These lessons help them to grow, to establish values or to simply stand on their own two feet.

This post appears in The Money Hacks carnival at Mrs Nespy’s blog

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